Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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