Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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