how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
