Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to sanitize my soul.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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