can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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