TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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