"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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