Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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