I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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