i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
