new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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