How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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