dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
