There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
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My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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