didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
