Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
