my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
that's an acceptable place to lick
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize