Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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