Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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