Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
