Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize