I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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