Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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