i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you didnt know i had herpes?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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