I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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