does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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