You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
