Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
