So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
