She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
