When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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