i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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