i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just googled if crying burns calories
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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