you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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