Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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