I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
