I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
