She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
