please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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