gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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