Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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