Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize