she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize