I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize