After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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