your parents love me but you hate me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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