Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
not ubering you a puppy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
