When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize