absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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