I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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