What tipped you off? The sombrero?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
