i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
