We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
