gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
