I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
