do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
