Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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